sorry, I forgot a thousand things. Well, i would write, or especially sketch. My father threw out my sketch book with all my drawings because it had runes on the front. They also read and threw away all my poetry books, besides all my candles and inscense, because they dont like that.. Thats ok, all my spell books they didnt find, besides my runes, and angela still has all my ingredients at her house. I didnt feel like carrying them out, my laziness has served me well. Well, i can guarentee one thing, you guys might not recognize me by the time they let me out. Ha, youll know by my speech impedements though, he he, o yeah, and i ahve a laugh too. peace

Today was extremely boring. I couldnt sleep until 800 this morning because im scared of my room. I had to weed every garden at my house, part of my punishment, though somehow I find that pretty ironic. I started writing a book to keep the time going. My road test is tomorrow, but im not allowed to take it. My parents said they dont want me to have the freedom to go where I want. Thanks for the support everyone, I really appreciate it. My parents are really exagerrating with this one. They made me take a drug test bcause they said they found evidence of me doing crack and cocaine in my room. Jesus christ, ive never touched either of those. My father said he wasnt circling your house angela, he couldnt find it. (look, im still standing up for them, lol) well, im gonna find soething to do for the next 8 hours or so, because like i siad, i cannot even go in my room in the dark. It seriously looks like an asylum, its all white and bare, i HATE it. I want my things back.. Oh yeah, Mouse, i would move in with my mom, but she said she doesnt want me. Go figure. Talk to you all when I can
bye

yeah, well things just keep getting better, let me tell you. My room STILL looks like an asylum, i havent slept in a few days because its scary. Im sorry about my dad, oh yeah, i told him agelas mom didnt know anything because i didnt want her to get in trouble. REALLY SORRY. I took a whole lot of pills last night, i had my notes and everything, and i fell asleep, thinking i just wouldnt wake up. But nooooooo i just threw up all over everything, i did it to piss my parent soff. I tried to call my mom today, because my other mom told me too, but then i told her i was gonna move in with that one, and she ripped the phone away from me and tried to hit me and i said, "keep your fucking hands off me", and i would never normaly say stuff like that. Then i was trying to leave with my bags and just walk somewhere, and my mom cuaght me and ripped my favorite shirt and cut my back with her nails. I dont know what to do, my life is destroyed, and all my possesions are gone. I cant see you guys, what else is there man? They also think im a satan worshiper because of my rune book, they threw that away too. ill think of something, im smart enough, jesus christ, they never comended me for that either. I hate it here, and i want to go to a place where people worry about me and not thier reputations with the rest of the family. About the dealers, DO NOT TELL HIM ANYTHING, just say we get it from random places, i dont want anyone in trouble because of me. Besides that, they are being pretty nice about the whole thing. talk to you when i can- peace

Hey, well, the crappiest thing in the world just happened to me. While i was at angela's last night, my parents gutted my room, found weed, and threw out everything in my room. All i have is a bed and a table, all my candles, posters, glowing the dark stars, lights, everything, is in the garbage. Bob head was thrown out, my tin, all my things. Im not allowed to talk to anyone until my COUNSELING, thats right counseling, is over. Thats just great, just when my life is finally satisfying it gets wrecked again. Thats ok, I have a plan, SORRY EVERYONE ahead of time, love you all, bye.

alright, i purposely left a part out of my last post because i didnt want to get too upset. Jason is over with, im done, and i havent told him how i feel yet. I went o his party, and well, i sat there and watched him talk to everyone else except me. I wouldve said something, but I get so damn nervous over people i really like a lot. I want to call him today and just tell him, "hey, how are you, by the way, i love you", but i cant do that. How could I, i actually thought i had a chance with this one. Im always the friend, you know? not the friend of the guy, but the friend of the girl that gets all the guys, and jason actually showed interest for once, and i lost him. It sucks, ill get over it of course, and find someone else, im certainly not gonna have a nervous breakdown, or cry, at least not in front of anyone, so it doesnt matter at all. I will get over it, i always do, this one just mfght take a little bit longer thats all.
cassie

alright, sorry its been so long, but i had no access to a computer. Everything has been real hectic. I slept over angela's two nights ago, and everything was very confusing. MOuse, dan, and steve-o all went to brians, well i did too(but only for a few minutes), and said they would be back in a half hour, they were gone for like three, and that was good because angela and I got hung up trying to pick up this josh kid. He ended up bringing 10 other guys with him, one of which who sold me very nice weed i might add, in large amounts as well, and we all smoked up. Then we went driving around, smoked a blunt in a park, and josh thought we were insane. By the time we got back, josh p was sad about jessika, steve-o was hiding in the car, and dan and michelle were in angela's room :). I had no idea, not even a clue, what was going on, but i was to tired to care/ By the time i got up in the moring everyone was gone. We also had a talk with mouse, who seems to be quite sad lately. We asked her why she never just wants to hang out with us, only if other people, usually guys, are around. She said it was because me and Angela seemed so close, but i feel i love mouse as much as i love angela, but now everything is back to normal again between us three. Im very happy because i hate having tension there, it sucks a lot. I went to bingo today, nothing is more aggrevating or more stroke-causing then fucking BINGO. Jesus christ, its IMPOSSIBLE to win unless your and 80year old woman with a nasty grudge against teen agers with face piercing, or people named Cassie. Jesus christ, speaking of that, on my new account they wouldnt let me use Cassielaaa, because it has the word ass in it, so my new e mail adress is Cazielaaa, and i hate it. And my parents got home today, i already want them to go back on vacation,i can feel the wave of mini stokes already , ill probably be quarentined for the next few days, but angela and michelle give me a call. Well i gotta go, peace

Angela and I just got back from the beach. It was real fun,and we almost beat the shit out of these 13 year olds who kept asking us if we were gothic. HA, yeah right! I am real worried about my mom because she has no money -because she has no job. IT SUCKS, she seems pretty sad. I am also quite worried about mouse, she seems quite depressed and withdrawn from everyone whenever i see her. I believe i will ask her abou that later. As for Right now i am very tired and hungry, and nervous because my lovely mother and friend angela have decided to nag me until I page Jason. I havent spoke to him in quite a bit of time,but its ok,because i really wanna see him. My mother also found out from ANGELA, that we went out with Jason at three o clock in the morning and that me and him were cudling. She was so excited, she is convinced iw will marry him someday. But anyway, i hope we do something tonight, but right at this moment, cassie needs a nap. peace :)

ok, i know its been like five minutes, but i forgot like 80000 things. Jason is back from the mountains, which makes me feel like a dumass because i was all upset that he hadnt called me, but he was mountain climbing with noooo electricity. Woops! Yesterday me and mouse snuck away and went for a walk, without telling anyone, but they didnt really seem to notice anyway, i feel hated. Just kidding. Dan hurt me like a thousand times, and then started cuddling with angela and mouse, during which he hurt me (by accident of course), like another thousand times, thats why i was a bit irritated. Then we went for another walk with everybody, and i felt like i was in a parallel dimension or something. Dont laugh, angela and i saw the same things. We saw a giant prehisotic looking bird swooping in and out of trees. Little running white things and a person-gremlin peeking out from behind a bush. Listen, i was so scared i actually ran. I dont think you understand, I RAN, me, cassie, MOVED QUICKLY, it was a miracle, i didnt even know i could do that! I must admit i have QUITE the imagination, but damn, we saw the same things man. Yeah, so it was pretty damn fun, im sure seeing me run was enough entertainment for everyone else, heh, it was great. It greatly amused my head. I dont even know what the hell im typing! Jesus,i just amused my head? nothing else........

Im at my mom's house right now. It is actually really fun and stuff. I went angela's yesterday, and it was pretty fun, except i felt kinda antisocial. I didnt mean to be at all, but i was just getting aggrevated for some unknown reason. Maybe because i was making myself feel a little left out, but i highly doubt that was the main reason. I just got some new kind of cloves, mmmmm delicous. It makes my mouth taste llike candy, and, my friends, candy is very good. I may go over to angela's again tonight, because the little mexican is there, (except he is bigger than me), and he is nice. Dustin was at Angela's yesterday too, he is very nice, but i dont think he understands our humor very well, maybe because we are a bunch of freaks, but funloving ones so it doesnt matter at all. Well, i have to go see if angela called, see ya soon whoever is reading this peace.